The package said size 9, so you can imagine my surprise when I tore it open and these puppies unfurled like a flesh toned American flag.
I mean they billowed.
Being a curious sort of person, of course I had to try them on. So I hoisted them up, climbed right in, and may I just say? Queen size don't lie.
These spacious lady briefs delivered a luxury the likes of which I have never known. It was like moving from a one-bedroom condo into a pelvic palace by the sea with 14 foot ceilings. So much space.
Silky, silky space.
If you've given birth in a hospital, you're probably familiar with the enormous disposable mesh undergarments they give you post-delivery. They're huge. And hideous. And fucking awesome. And any woman who says otherwise is a liar or Gisele Bundchen. So these queen-size nines? Are like those. But better. Because you don't have to throw them away. (Or give birth to get them).
BIG UNDIES for the win, is what I'm trying to say.