Tomorrow is Gus's birthday, and my car is FILLED, just FILLED, with bright plastic toys for him to chew and destroy! Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness has obviously never shopped at Toys R Us, where pure glee is sold in colorful (and portable!) plastic units. Would you like to meet a genius? Let me introduce you to Mr. Toys R Us. Pretty much everything you want to buy in his store costs $20! Sponge Bob Squarepants Sofa? $20! Playskool Complete Barnyard Set? $20! Plasti-push lawnmower with fantastically irritating noisemaker pseudo-engine? $20! Jumbo Box of Building blocks? $20! Plastic container of edible bandaids? $20! But who cares? I'm on a roll! Incidentally, my Toys R Us shopping spree has coincided with Larry's post-graduate Taking Over of The O'Brien Bills and Checkbook. Yes. It's true. I, the Math Laureate of East Nashville, have been paying our bills and balancing our checkbook for the past five years. (I use the term "balancing" oh-so-very loosely.) And let me just say that finally .... F-I-N-A-L-L-Y ... life is as it should be. I have dreamed of the day when it would be me cowering at the foot of the stairs trying to script an explanation of why $20 seemed like a perfectly reasonable price for a container of bubblegum bandaids. ("But, baby, you don't understand! First you can stick it on a wound, and then you can eat it! And blow a bubble!") So, Ricky's upstairs learning what bills look like. And Lucy, very gladly, has some 'splaining to do.
Amanda O'Brien is the author and sole proprietress of Blabbermouse, a blog she launched in February of 2005.