A few weeks ago, Patrick brought home a school assignment to disguise a turkey so it won't get eaten on Thanksgiving. The teacher provided a naked turkey template that we, AS A FAMILY, could decorate and disguise however we wished. It was a family project, okay? So don't go accusing me of doing my kid's homework for him.
Even though that's exactly what I did.
Patrick was still asleep, and I had a couple of fashion magazines lying around, and I thought to myself what if ...
Just what if we disguised that turkey as Lady Gaga.
And I did a little snipping and trimming and cutting (no gluing! I wanted to be sure Patrick was on board with my plan before I committed anything to paper), and I laid out my OUR Lady Gaga inspired turkey.
Even though that's exactly what I did.
Patrick was still asleep, and I had a couple of fashion magazines lying around, and I thought to myself what if ...
Just what if we disguised that turkey as Lady Gaga.
And I did a little snipping and trimming and cutting (no gluing! I wanted to be sure Patrick was on board with my plan before I committed anything to paper), and I laid out my OUR Lady Gaga inspired turkey.
Needless to say, Patrick was horrified. He is a man of simple tastes, after all. So, I tossed the Gaga clippings and together we disguised his turkey as a ghost, complete with a lift-up sheet and a speech bubble that said, "Boo." Age appropriate, shmage appropriate.
A week later, Gus came home with the same assignment. I asked him what he wanted to disguise his turkey as.
"Myself," he said.
So I immediately began cutting pieces of EGOMANIAC out of a magazine. No I didn't, that's mean. It's sweet that he wanted to disguise the turkey as himself. It shows he has healthy self esteem. (Right, doctor?)
As the week wore on, and we'd made no progress on Gus the turkey, Gus changed his mind and decided he wanted to disguise his turkey as ...
Lady Gaga.
Of course he did.
"Why don't we do a more generic rock star turkey instead," I suggested (mourning the Lady Gaga bits I threw in the recycling bin.)
I have got to hand it to that kid. He got to WORK, cutting out a rock-star t-shirt and Taylor Swift's guitar, and little bits of a model's bustier dress to make rock-star pants ...
I cut the hair off Kristen Stewart, who looks better without that scowl on her face anyway.
And I snipped out Scarlett Johanson's eyes and some other girl's mouth, and ...
Ta-dah!
A week later, Gus came home with the same assignment. I asked him what he wanted to disguise his turkey as.
"Myself," he said.
So I immediately began cutting pieces of EGOMANIAC out of a magazine. No I didn't, that's mean. It's sweet that he wanted to disguise the turkey as himself. It shows he has healthy self esteem. (Right, doctor?)
As the week wore on, and we'd made no progress on Gus the turkey, Gus changed his mind and decided he wanted to disguise his turkey as ...
Lady Gaga.
Of course he did.
"Why don't we do a more generic rock star turkey instead," I suggested (mourning the Lady Gaga bits I threw in the recycling bin.)
I have got to hand it to that kid. He got to WORK, cutting out a rock-star t-shirt and Taylor Swift's guitar, and little bits of a model's bustier dress to make rock-star pants ...
I cut the hair off Kristen Stewart, who looks better without that scowl on her face anyway.
And I snipped out Scarlett Johanson's eyes and some other girl's mouth, and ...
Ta-dah!
No one in their right mind would eat that.
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