Hi! I sure am in a wretched mood today! Wow! When I was sitting on the patio of Harris Teeter this afternoon eating my lunch, a male Harris Teeter employee (Ohhhh how I wish I could have seen his nametag) lumbered out for a smoke break. No problem there. Smoke 'em if you've got 'em. But just before lighting up, he saw fit to bend dramatically at the waist and hawk the biggest, loudest, lewdest, loogie I have witnessed in all my days. Right there on the patio! RIGHT THERE ON THE PATIO WHERE I, A LOYAL HARRIS TEETER CUSTOMER, WAS EATING MY LUNCH. I hate you, Harris Teeter employee man who hawked that loogie. You are a vile creature. There is no excuse for you. The AIR? You are breathing MORE than your fair share.
This man’s behavior was in stark contrast to Harris Teeter's trademark corporate cheer. All through my lunch, employees (no, wait, sorry! Harris Teeter Associates) kept making announcements on the loudspeaker. And every time, no matter with whom they were attempting to communicate--it could have been Paul in the Deli or Soup Stocker on Aisle 3--they began each announcement with “Good afternoon Harris Teeter Shoppers!” As in “Good afternoon Harris Teeter Shoppers! We need more string cheese on Aisle 2” Today, because, WOW, I’m in a really rotten mood, I found these interruptions especially annoying. Particularly after the loogie hawking, because, first, ... They grab my attention!!!! Hi Shopper! And then they cast me aside! Ha! I wasn’t even talking to you! And then they GRAB MY ATTENTION!! HI! HI! HI SHOPPER! And then HA! Again! Wasn’t talking to you! And then GRAB MY ATTEN... DO YOU SEE? Annoying, this. But it’s the rule. And The Man says, “Just do it.”
I don't like rules. But if they are good rules, I'm willing to follow them. It's those stupid, blanket, over-generalized rules that I CAN. NOT. TOLERATE. Rules that do not take circumstances into account. I know it's EASIER to make rules this way. But it's also ... D-U-M-B-E-R.
When I was a waitress at Chilis, I was, and I don't mean to brag, The Suckiest Waitress in the history of the franchise. I not only lacked the requisite Chili’s Cheer, but I stunk at things that required no personality whatsoever. Like placing orders. Or placing drinks on tables. Or counting correct change. Nevertheless, there were rules that would not bend to accommodate my mediocrity. It was mandated by the King of Chilis that I ask people whether they’d “saved room for dessert” no matter the circumstances. And not just any dessert. Oh. No. I had to say the name of a particular dessert (depending on which ghastly confection they were pushing that day). So, no matter that you have gone into labor and need to be rushed to the hospital ASAP; no matter that I have given you 1000 Island dressing instead of Ranch, no matter that you wanted a baked potato and I gave you fries, or the Coke I promised was OBVIOUSLY Pepsi; no matter that I spilled that vile Pepsi in your pregnant lap, NO MATTER THAT YOU CLEARLY WISH TO SET MY TIP ON FIRE WHILE YOU WATCH ME DIE A VIOLENT AND HEINOUS DEATH ... Are you SURE you didn’t save room for a slice of Heavenly Heathbar Crunch Cake????????
Whether or not it makes sense, JUST DO IT. If you want to keep your job, JUST DO IT. If you want to be liked, JUST DO IT. No wonder that slogan sells running shoes. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
I propose a different slogan: “Give Me One Good #$%$@$! Reason.”
My mood. It is bad.
Good night.
This man’s behavior was in stark contrast to Harris Teeter's trademark corporate cheer. All through my lunch, employees (no, wait, sorry! Harris Teeter Associates) kept making announcements on the loudspeaker. And every time, no matter with whom they were attempting to communicate--it could have been Paul in the Deli or Soup Stocker on Aisle 3--they began each announcement with “Good afternoon Harris Teeter Shoppers!” As in “Good afternoon Harris Teeter Shoppers! We need more string cheese on Aisle 2” Today, because, WOW, I’m in a really rotten mood, I found these interruptions especially annoying. Particularly after the loogie hawking, because, first, ... They grab my attention!!!! Hi Shopper! And then they cast me aside! Ha! I wasn’t even talking to you! And then they GRAB MY ATTENTION!! HI! HI! HI SHOPPER! And then HA! Again! Wasn’t talking to you! And then GRAB MY ATTEN... DO YOU SEE? Annoying, this. But it’s the rule. And The Man says, “Just do it.”
I don't like rules. But if they are good rules, I'm willing to follow them. It's those stupid, blanket, over-generalized rules that I CAN. NOT. TOLERATE. Rules that do not take circumstances into account. I know it's EASIER to make rules this way. But it's also ... D-U-M-B-E-R.
When I was a waitress at Chilis, I was, and I don't mean to brag, The Suckiest Waitress in the history of the franchise. I not only lacked the requisite Chili’s Cheer, but I stunk at things that required no personality whatsoever. Like placing orders. Or placing drinks on tables. Or counting correct change. Nevertheless, there were rules that would not bend to accommodate my mediocrity. It was mandated by the King of Chilis that I ask people whether they’d “saved room for dessert” no matter the circumstances. And not just any dessert. Oh. No. I had to say the name of a particular dessert (depending on which ghastly confection they were pushing that day). So, no matter that you have gone into labor and need to be rushed to the hospital ASAP; no matter that I have given you 1000 Island dressing instead of Ranch, no matter that you wanted a baked potato and I gave you fries, or the Coke I promised was OBVIOUSLY Pepsi; no matter that I spilled that vile Pepsi in your pregnant lap, NO MATTER THAT YOU CLEARLY WISH TO SET MY TIP ON FIRE WHILE YOU WATCH ME DIE A VIOLENT AND HEINOUS DEATH ... Are you SURE you didn’t save room for a slice of Heavenly Heathbar Crunch Cake????????
Whether or not it makes sense, JUST DO IT. If you want to keep your job, JUST DO IT. If you want to be liked, JUST DO IT. No wonder that slogan sells running shoes. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
I propose a different slogan: “Give Me One Good #$%$@$! Reason.”
My mood. It is bad.
Good night.
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