So, Gus's eyes happen to be a little bit sensitive to sunlight. In fact, while the rest of us are thinking we can make it now the rain is gone, Gus can usually be found in his car seat squinting and screaming, "EYES! EYES! MOMMY NOOOOOOOOOO! EYES!" Or that's how it used to be before I bought him his Elmo sunglasses. Now, the blue skies are smiling at both of us and all is right with the world. The glasses have even become somewhat of a trademark for Gus; he's like the Jack Nicholson of Toddler B.
But this morning, the glasses inspired some semi-odd commentary from one of Gus's substitute teachers. When we walked in, this woman approached me and said, "Don't take this the wrong way ... but sunglasses on a toddler look about as good as sunglasses on a dog."
Rule #1 (if you want to coexist peacefully with me on this here patch of planet):
Never begin a sentence with the words "Don't take this the wrong way."
It is humanly impossible for me to take your statement the right way after you say that.
I just can't.
And also, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Sunglasses on a toddler look about as good as sunglasses on a dog?
How good would that be, exactly?
She was laughing good-naturedly when she said it, but still I'm guessing she doesn't think dogs look very good in sunglasses, or she wouldn't have said, "Don't take this the wrong way."
She would have said, "Oh how cute Gus looks in his sunglasses!"
Which would have been the correct answer.
So, anyway, maybe I was feeling just a WEE bit defensive, and in order to fill the conversational abyss that was now bubbling between us, I explained to this woman that Gus's eyes are very sensitive to light and that the glasses are not merely a fashion statement--AS COOL AS THEY MAY LOOK.
"Really?" the woman said, sounding overly concerned. "Have you taken him for prescription lenses?"
Which brings me to Rule #2:
Do not imply that there is something medically wrong with my child if you are not a licensed physician. And even then, tread lightly and carry a big pile of research-based evidence.
And also, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Prescription lenses?
He's not visually IMPAIRED. He can SEE just fine.
As long as the damn sun's not in his eyes.
But this morning, the glasses inspired some semi-odd commentary from one of Gus's substitute teachers. When we walked in, this woman approached me and said, "Don't take this the wrong way ... but sunglasses on a toddler look about as good as sunglasses on a dog."
Rule #1 (if you want to coexist peacefully with me on this here patch of planet):
Never begin a sentence with the words "Don't take this the wrong way."
It is humanly impossible for me to take your statement the right way after you say that.
I just can't.
And also, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Sunglasses on a toddler look about as good as sunglasses on a dog?
How good would that be, exactly?
She was laughing good-naturedly when she said it, but still I'm guessing she doesn't think dogs look very good in sunglasses, or she wouldn't have said, "Don't take this the wrong way."
She would have said, "Oh how cute Gus looks in his sunglasses!"
Which would have been the correct answer.
So, anyway, maybe I was feeling just a WEE bit defensive, and in order to fill the conversational abyss that was now bubbling between us, I explained to this woman that Gus's eyes are very sensitive to light and that the glasses are not merely a fashion statement--AS COOL AS THEY MAY LOOK.
"Really?" the woman said, sounding overly concerned. "Have you taken him for prescription lenses?"
Which brings me to Rule #2:
Do not imply that there is something medically wrong with my child if you are not a licensed physician. And even then, tread lightly and carry a big pile of research-based evidence.
And also, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Prescription lenses?
He's not visually IMPAIRED. He can SEE just fine.
As long as the damn sun's not in his eyes.
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