Here's a weird thing I've always done and still do that all of you probably don't. And just know that I expect at least one of you--I don't care which one--to lie in the comments and say, oh that? I TOTALLY do that. Everyone does that. Pffft. God.
So.
I'll be eating peanut butter (for example), and I'll think: Man, I really love peanut butter. It's so tasty. Just the right balance of salty and sweet. Terrific texture.
And then I'll think: Is peanut butter my favorite food?
And then I'll think: I don't know. Pizza's pretty awesome too. And mint chocolate chip ice cream. And SHARP WHITE CHEDDAR CHEESE. And PF Chang's Kung Pow Shrimp. OH MY GOD I LOVE PF Chang's Kung Pow Shrimp.
And then I'll think: But I guess I wouldn't say Kung Pow Shrimp is really my *favorite*. So ... which one is my favorite? Like if I HAD to pick? Like if my plane crashed on a desert island and the only two survivors were me and a chef who could only make ONE THING. WHICH THING WOULD I CHOOSE?
And I will feel my heart start to speed up (like quite a lot) as I try to make up my mind about this not-really-a-decision.
And it's not just with food. I do it with magazines: If I HAD (were FORCED) to wake up tomorrow looking like one of these models, which one would I want to look like? And I'll weigh the pros and cons of being blonde vs. brunette. Curvy vs. Straight. Plush lips vs. extreme cheekbones. IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I do it with catalogs that come in the mail. If someone granted me ONE free outfit from these two pages, which one would I choose? And what about *these* two pages?
Office Supplies: Should I pick a free lifetime supply of printer paper (that no one is offering me) or a free lifetime supply of extra fine sharpies in assorted colors I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW.
I just don't know.
So.
I'll be eating peanut butter (for example), and I'll think: Man, I really love peanut butter. It's so tasty. Just the right balance of salty and sweet. Terrific texture.
And then I'll think: Is peanut butter my favorite food?
And then I'll think: I don't know. Pizza's pretty awesome too. And mint chocolate chip ice cream. And SHARP WHITE CHEDDAR CHEESE. And PF Chang's Kung Pow Shrimp. OH MY GOD I LOVE PF Chang's Kung Pow Shrimp.
And then I'll think: But I guess I wouldn't say Kung Pow Shrimp is really my *favorite*. So ... which one is my favorite? Like if I HAD to pick? Like if my plane crashed on a desert island and the only two survivors were me and a chef who could only make ONE THING. WHICH THING WOULD I CHOOSE?
And I will feel my heart start to speed up (like quite a lot) as I try to make up my mind about this not-really-a-decision.
And it's not just with food. I do it with magazines: If I HAD (were FORCED) to wake up tomorrow looking like one of these models, which one would I want to look like? And I'll weigh the pros and cons of being blonde vs. brunette. Curvy vs. Straight. Plush lips vs. extreme cheekbones. IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I do it with catalogs that come in the mail. If someone granted me ONE free outfit from these two pages, which one would I choose? And what about *these* two pages?
Office Supplies: Should I pick a free lifetime supply of printer paper (that no one is offering me) or a free lifetime supply of extra fine sharpies in assorted colors I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW.
I just don't know.
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