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nothin' says lovin' like your geriatric cousin

4/8/2005

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In case you ever get to thinking, hey, that Amanda chic, she's sort of cool ... just talk to my cousins. They'll set you straight. I have twenty-five of them, ranging in age from one to 22, and every time I talk to one, I morph into a 97-year-old woman. I'm all, "Well hello there little fella, my how you've grown!" and "It seems like yesterday you were in di-apers!" And they just stare at me like, who released you from the nursing home and are you wearing undergarment protection?

Meanwhile, Larry, my husband who is WAY older than me, is like best friends with all of them. Last night we went to the Mellow Mushroom for Uncle Joe's birthday, and Larry was chatting up the cousins, no problem. At one point he and Catherine, who is in fifth grade, were going off on what a vile and worthless vegetable the mushroom is, and of course, I just had to chime in: "I hate mushrooms, too! Yuck!"

The silence? Deafening.

And then they were like, Ummmmm, sorry, this table is actually kind of full ... but, umm, maybe the chess club will let you sit with them.

And then I think Larry drew a mean picture of me on the cover of Catherine's Trapper Keeper, but I'm not sure.

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    yours. truly.

    Amanda O'Brien is the author and sole proprietress of Blabbermouse, a blog she launched in February of 2005.

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