let's talk about urine and asparagus

So, we're off to Seaside. Or Seagrove. Or Seasomething. Who CARES? We're going to Florida! And Florida is ... well, I mean, it's Florida. I get that. But it's also Not Work. And Not A House I Have to Clean. Or a Phone I Have to  Answer. Or a Client Who Can't Articulate What He/She Wants But Would Like Me to Promptly Read His/Her Mind Because CLAIRVOYANCE SHOULD BE INCLUDED.

LONG LIVE FLORIDA!

Before I go, though, can we please talk about asparagus?

Seriously.

Larry and I went to a party on Saturday night, and I became very enamored with the vegetable platter. We had something very special, that much was obvious. The asparagus, in particular, was so crunchy and delicious I could not stop eating it. And when we got home, there is no delicate way to put this ... OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I mean, I knew this about asparagus, but I didn't KNOW KNOW. I mean this was different.

I called out to Larry from behind the bathroom door: OH. MY. GOD.

WHAT?

OH MY G- YOU HAVE TO--

WHAT?!?

This is just ... You will not believe this.

WHAT?!?!

The asparagus. It's just--I can't--GAH! It's--

I don't need to come in there.

You do. It's unreal.

I am not coming in there.

The air quality in here is non-existent!

(Silence)

You have to experience this for yourself, Lare.

I believe you.

It's like a frantic skunk tried to claw its way out of my urethra.