She just shifted gears out of the blue and said, "So, I hear you're having a baby."
And because this was apropos of absolutely nothing, I actually had to stop and think for a minute, "Excuse me? What? Oh. Baby. Right. Why yes! I am!" You see, for much of the day I forget that I am pregnant. Which is why it is a happy coincidence that I no longer keep a fifth of gin in my desk drawer.
So, she asks me if I'm having a baby, and I say yes, and she says "is it your first?" and I say "No, it's my second." And she asks if I have a boy or a girl, and I say boy, and she says, "me too."
She has two boys.
And because I'm not a super smooth phone conversationalist and I didn't know what else to say (and I've never met this person) I just said the first boring thing that popped in my head.
I said, "Aren't boys great?"
And she said, "Yeah."
And I dorkily added, "They sure love their moms."
And she screamed, "AND THEIR PENISES!!!!"
And, I sort of laughed and waited for her to move on.
But she did not want to move on!
No sir, she did not!
She wanted to talk more about the boys and their loving of their penises.
And this is when she proceeded to tell me about how her boys are never happier than when they're snuggled up beside her on the couch, watching tv with their hands down their pants.
"They love it!" she howled.
"Oh yeah!" she said. "Nothing better in their world."
"That's ... heh. Yeah."
So, I think we're going to be good friends, this woman and I.