1. When you throw your back out, don’t be a martyr and cut the Percocet in half. You’ll just get the half that has no medicine in it and have to go dig up the rest of the pill ... plus an extra one to ease the pain from all that digging.
2. My husband has X-Ray vision—and yours probably does, too. Where you or I see spilled cereal and potato chip crumbs covering the kitchen floor, he sees only a clean kitchen floor. It's magical!
3. When your two-year-old tries to turn off his screaming little brother using the TV remote, don’t get all cute and explain to him that the remote only works on the television. Tell him that only Mommies can use the TV remote to make little boys disappear, so he better behave.
2. My husband has X-Ray vision—and yours probably does, too. Where you or I see spilled cereal and potato chip crumbs covering the kitchen floor, he sees only a clean kitchen floor. It's magical!
3. When your two-year-old tries to turn off his screaming little brother using the TV remote, don’t get all cute and explain to him that the remote only works on the television. Tell him that only Mommies can use the TV remote to make little boys disappear, so he better behave.
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