This gives people confidence that they are in the presence of an expert!
2.) Preface 9 out of 10 statements with, "Yeah, but look ..."
On the 10th statement, lead with, "I'm not disagreeing with you, but ..."
Proceed to disagree wholeheartedly. Then wink, make a finger pistol, and click your tongue at the person, so they hate you but aren't sure why. After all, you weren't disagreeing with them!
3.) In email, when the marketing department asks you to provide a wishlist of materials to help you generate leads, do not succumb to specificity. Details are for losers! Keep your requests as vague as humanly possible, then enthusiastically solicit feedback on your non-ideas.
Don't say: "I think a targeted series of monthly direct mail postcards to prospects in our top SIC codes would be helpful."
Do say: "I was thinking some kind of vender thing. Can you guys do that?" (Bonus points for misspelling vendor.)
When marketing asks you to clarify, wait three weeks and send a follow up email (copying the chief sales officer and company president) asking why you have not received your new marketing materials.
For more great tips about how to succeed in sales without really trying, please send $5 and a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope to 423 N. 15th Street, Nashville, TN 37206.
(There's your vertical.)