- Gus asks Santa for a scarf and an umbrella. Amanda wonders when Gus turned 50.
- Amanda tells the dog that Santa is going to bring him a stocking full of euthanasia if he doesn’t quit barking. Gus asks, “Then Seany will be dead?” Larry congratulates Gus on his ability to use “context clues” to decipher meaning of euthanasia.
- Gus also asks Santa for “An Official Jeff Fisher Titans Wireless Headset.” Such a thing exists only on Jeff Fisher’s head, so Amanda purchases Motorola headset, cuts off the wire, and places Titans decal on the plastic packaging. SUCCESS!
- Gus asks why Mommy and Daddy didn’t get him anything for Christmas.
- Gus notes that Santa used “quite a bit” of Mommy’s wrapping paper; then asks if I’m “okay with that.” (Answer: Yes. I’m totally okay with it.)
- Amanda pops Patrick’s whoopee cushion WITH HER ASS … leaving a large hole nowhere near the seam and white whoopee residue on the green club chair. Aunts, uncles and cousins find this party trick HILARIOUS.
- Patrick reveals fear of kittens.
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