Blabbermouse
  • BLOG
  • READING
  • ARCHIVE 2005-2014
Follow me!

five people i hate on craigslist

8/1/2011

0 Comments

 
1. People who try to sell their stuff without pictures. Are you insane? Who is going to drive to East Collard Green, Tennessee, to check out your "Handmade elk horn gun rack (nice!!!)” without seeing a picture of it first?  I won’t even go upstairs to look at something unless my children give me a thorough description of it. 

2. Even more offensive to me are the people who write, “If you’d like to see a picture of this item, email me and I’ll send it to you.” Are you f*ing kidding me? Of course I want to see a picture of it. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re telling me that you have a photo of your item AND the technological skill set to attach it to an email, but you're not going to upload it to Craigslist? How can I possibly buy what you’re selling? It might have stupid flakes all over it. 

Cleansing breath.

3. In the FREE section. 
People who are giving stuff away, but only to someone who is “truly in need.” What the f*ck do you care? Are you giving your shit away or not? And who in god's name is going to drive to your house for six containers of infant formula, two unopened packages of adult diapers, and a two liter bottle of ginger ale, unless they are truly in need? What the hell is wrong with you?

4. In the job postings.
People who respond to a job I’ve posted with only the words “call me please 555-1212”. Yes. No. See, the way this works is, I tell you what I’m looking for, and then, using uppercase and lowercase letters, and commas and periods where appropriate, you tell me that you havewhat I’m looking for, citing specific examples to show me what you’re saying is true. Then I might call you. 

5. Also in the job postings. 
People who want me to deliver a lifetime’s worth of marketable skills—for no money. “We’re looking for a smart, energetic, endlessly curious and creative team player, with a great sense of humor, who can write cutting-edge copy that transforms the way people see the world. Must be a whiz at Photoshop, Illustrator, and video editing software, and have a firm understanding of the fundamental principals of photography. A working knowledge of major social media platforms, popular content management systems, web analytics, SEO, PPC and HTML are STRONGLY preferred. People who only want a day job NEED NOT APPLY!!!! This is an ENTRY-LEVEL position, with tremendous growth opportunity for the right candidate! If interested, please send us a cover letter (bonus points if you make us urinate on ourselves laughing!) and current resume stating why we should hire you.”

You shouldn’t hire me. Because I will come to where you are with a knife and kill you.

Thank you and good day. 

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    yours. truly.

    Amanda O'Brien is the author and sole proprietress of Blabbermouse, a blog she launched in February of 2005.

    archives

    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    October 2008
    September 2008
    August 2008
    July 2008
    June 2008
    May 2008
    April 2008
    March 2008
    February 2008
    January 2008
    December 2007
    November 2007
    October 2007
    September 2007
    August 2007
    June 2007
    April 2007
    March 2007
    January 2007
    December 2006
    November 2006
    October 2006
    September 2006
    August 2006
    July 2006
    June 2006
    May 2006
    April 2006
    March 2006
    February 2006
    January 2006
    December 2005
    November 2005
    October 2005
    September 2005
    August 2005
    July 2005
    June 2005
    May 2005
    April 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.