This is for the client who has you spend the better part of a week quoting a print job at three different sizes, on eight different paper stocks, both European and Domestic, satin and gloss, at three different weights, (all of which must be mocked up so she can compare and contrast and "feel it with her own eyes"), with and without varnish, perfect bound with PUR and perfect bound without, or maybe wire-o! Can we do a wire-o binding? How about tabs? Get me a quote on tabs! What happens when we UV coat the cover? What are the advantages? What are the disadvantages? Well I also need to see it quoted with and without the UV, and maybe with just a spot UV, too? How much for that? And get an estimate for die-cutting, or maybe a foil stamp! No, foil stamps are tacky. Wait, no our president likes foil stamps, get an estimate on a silver foil--like a shiny one, but not too shiny, and then also a matte. Does the price change with the shiny and the matte?
And when you finally pull all the numbers together, and the client sees that you've applied the standard agency markup, she makes you drive across town to her office so she can yell at you in person about cheating her bank out of its money with all your "crazy fees."
As you try not to gag on the thick cloud of irony hanging over her desk, you explain that the markup covers the agency's time involved in procuring and managing the print job to completion, and she says, "Fine. Then we'll handle the printing ourselves."
And by this she means you'll handle it. For free.
This is what we do for her:
Right there by her cankle and her tail.