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big fat hairy deal

10/28/2008

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You know you've probably taken the whole "short hair" thing too far when a man walks into the salon with his son, who is crying, and says (pointing at you), "Look! That boy is getting his hair cut, andhe's not crying."

AWESOME.

I now present computer-camera screen shots from:

Extreme Hair Makeover: Bed Head Edition

Picture
Extreme Hair Makeover: Elf Edition 
(Anyone know where I can get a nice pair of prosthetic ears?)
Picture
I don't actually have a wonky front tooth, but for some reason (lip gloss?) it is reflecting off my bottom lip in the above picture and looks like a crazy elf fang. (Lock up your fruitcakes.)

Extreme Hair Makeover: Rosemary's Baby-Meets-Alfalfa From Little Rascals Edition

Picture
Turns out I have a wicked cowlick. So, no matter how much product I slap on my head and no matter how many times I shout "AT EASE", the hairs continue to stand at attention along my part.

These are all the same haircut, by the way. Just styled differently ... or in the first picture not styled at all. Compliments received thus far have ranged from "Wow, you cut your hair" to "You still look pretty (regardless of the follicular tragedy that has been visited upon your scalp)" to "Why?"

Several people expressed deep concern over how Larry would "cope" with my new haircut. He is fine. We're giving him lots of fluids, and the counselor comes twice a week to help him work through his grief. He's spending time with friends, playing his guitar, trying to keep his mind on the happy times  ...

SERIOUSLY, though. I have to say this:

I could never be with a man who is obsessed with women having to have long hair. To me, that is a big fat relationship red flag, and I would advise my friends to RUN, RUN, RUN from such a person. Unless the woman-half of the couple is equally obsessed with women HAVING to have long hair, in which case it's a match made in the shallow end of heaven. (Dive in at your own risk.)

Just my opinion.

And for the record, Larry voted for this haircut. Some of you might have seen the sign in the yard. (THE CHANGE WE NEED; THE CHANGE THE BATHROOM FLOOR NEEDS.)

And, regardless of its elfin goofiness (or maybe because of it), short hair happens to feel more me to me, which may come as a surprise to some people. Every time I looked in the mirror or saw a picture of myself with long hair, it just looked OFF, somehow. Like a phantom limb or something. Or a non-phantom limb, I guess it would be.

So as not to alarm Gus, who keeps pointing to women with waist-long hair and saying "You would look pretty in THAT haircut," I've been sloooooooowly inching my way toward this haircut for almost a year.

I took Gus with me to get this last cut, and on the way out he said (with a really eerie smile plastered across his face) "It looks good JUST the way it is!"

I think that's code for "enough is enough."

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    yours. truly.

    Amanda O'Brien is the author and sole proprietress of Blabbermouse, a blog she launched in February of 2005.

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