"Check your transfer folder," he said, popping up behind me, before I even knew he was missing. "There are pictures in there of me doing Thriller."
Every chemical spill has a silver lining.
Rumor has it Santa has procured three pairs of real skinny pants for the young Mick Jagger to enjoy, since Sir Mick refuses to wear anything else. Santa was not, however, able to find white skinny pants, given that it is December, and the vast majority of first grade boys aren't eager to dress like Siegfried and Roy.
Gus has also added two items to his "order", since his list was mailed to the post office also known as my purse. He has sat on the laps ofthree Santas now and requested "An electric scooter, and a party on the beach."
The third Santa, who was the special guest at a private party, was so amused by this request, he walked up to me and a group of women and said, "You will not believe what some kid just asked me for."
Try me, Santa.
"Some kid just sat on my lap and asked for an electric scooter and a party on the beach!"
"That would be my son."
I watched as Santa proceeded to walk around and tell the story to everyone in the room, including Larry, who chuckled and pretended Gus belonged to someone else.
I don't think Gus fully believes in Santa, but he's chosen to pretend he does, probably in the hopes that we'll buy him that $400 electric scooter he saw at Wal-Mart. The odds of that happening are about as good as the odds of me making a necklace out of the teeth Gus found in the super secret compartment of my jewelry box last night when I was in the shower.
"WHAT ARE ALL THESE TEETH DOING HERE, MOM?"
(@#%^% Stalling, stalling ...) "What do you mean? What teeth?"
"There's a bag of TEETH in your jewelry box."
"What do you mean there's a bag of TEETH in there?"
"(Holding up the bag of teeth with a look of horror on his face) LOOK!"
"GROSS! WHOSE ARE THEY?"
"I have no idea!"
"Wait. Gus. Do you think ... No .. Surely not."
"What? What, Mom?"
"Do you think maybe those are YOUR teeth? Like the tooth fairy took them from under your pillow and put them in my jewelry box so I would make a necklace out of them or something?"
The next thing I know he was pawing through my jewelry looking for a chain.
I mumbled something about needing a drill to make holes in the teeth and wandered off toward the kitchen, mentally kicking myself in the head.
Teeth necklace. NICE SAVE.
I always suspected the Tooth Fairy wasn't that bright.