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touching strangers

8/30/2013

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I have a tendency to assume familiarity where there is none. I'll meet someone for the first time, and something in the person's face will lead me to believe I get them, and they get me--and bam(!), to quote the great Cori Laemmel, "we're totally in friend love."

Sometimes I'm right; we are totally in friend love. Just as often, however, the person reintroduces herself to me eight or nine times over the course of a year thereafter, refusing to believe we've met (AND FALLEN TOTALLY IN FRIEND LOVE!) before.  

Still, moments of real intimacy and connection can happen between two strangers. And they would certainly happen more often if we were open to it.

Enter photographer Richard Renaldi and his gorgeous photo experiment "Touching Strangers".  

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Photo (c) Richard Renaldi
Renaldi trolled the streets of New York with his camera and his intuition, looking for strangers who were willing to be photographed together, touching, as if they were family. The result is aesthetically stunning, but even more so was the effect of the project on its subjects.

Holding hands with a woman he'd never met, one man said, "I felt like I cared for her." 

Another pair, two teens from the Bronx, made a love connection. “Afterward," Renaldi recalled,  "He got her number."

As I wondered how it is that Renaldi's subjects look as if they belong to each other, a second realization set in. That is, they look as if they belong to each other because they do.

We all do. And what a world it would be if we could carry that idea in mind at all times--that we belong to each other, even when a photographer is nowhere in sight. 

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they laughed when i sat down to talk about current events, but when i started to say ...

8/27/2013

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I tend to be a few beats behind when it comes to current events.

I also tend to understate things like "the number of beats behind I am", when it comes to current events. 

And when it comes to current events in regions where civil unrest is a way of life? I'm not just a few beats behind, I'm at a Mexican restaurant trying to play the polka with a mariachi band.

Who can keep up with all of these angry people? So much ire and uprising. So many leaders with names I can't pronounce, being ousted and instated, and ousted again. So many regimes and militants andsects.

What's a nice girl from Connecticut to do?

Well, such a girl might consider making passionate digital love toreading The Skimm, a free e-mail service that was brought to my attention by one of my favorite bloggers, and fellow Virgos, The Communicatrix. Described as "The daily newsletter that simplifies the headlines for the educated professional who knows enough to know she needs more", The Skimm will send you one delightfully succinct email each morning--with a punchy round up of the key news stories of the day--explained with intelligence, style and charm. It's like The Daily Candy, but with Egyptians.

I love the idea and the execution of the Skimm so much, I went back to the archives to get the skinny on some older news items that had danced around the periphery of my consciousness but never really made a home there. 

It's just good information--presented in a simple and entertaining way--and I wanted to share it with you. Just in case. 

You can register for the free email updates here, at TheSkimm.com. 

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cross(eye) promotion

8/23/2013

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Are you all following along at The Daily Crosseye? 

There is entertainment to be had there. 

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Granted, I've been a bit challenged as of late by the whole "daily" aspect, but I like to think I make up for it in sheer artistry. And mustaches.
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my top 25 favorite books of all time, so far

8/19/2013

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Ann Patchett did a "25 Favorite Books" exercise on her blog today, and I thought I'd give it a shot (without overthinking). And because I'm not overthinking, I'm probably under-listing and forgetting some amazing reads. 

For brevity's sake, I'm not including beloved books from my childhood (The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, The BFG, Boy, The Last of the Really Great Wangdoodles, Black Beauty ...). And I'm also electing to leave off J.D. Salinger, whose Nine Stories and Catcher in the Rye and Franny & Zooey had a pretty profound impact on me as a teenager/young adult, but didn't hold up as well in later years.

Salinger is for the young. (Discuss.)

In the order they came to mind, here are my Top 25 Favorite Books of All Time, So Far: 

1. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving (this is one of the greatest books of all time. John Irving's magnum opus, in my opinion)

2. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry (the main character is Gus's namesake)

3. East of Eden by John Steinbeck (this may be the greatest of all time, actually. God I loved this book.)

4. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (I've read this at least four times, and it's a different book every time. Every. Time.)

5. Emma by Jane Austen (Everyone who loves Austen has their favorite Austen book. Few people I know pick Emma, but I love the way it bubbles along.)

6. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach (Probably too soon to put this on the list - but I've been bereft since I finished it, waiting for something at least half as good to come along.) 

7. I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb (Before Oprah jumped the shark by picking The Secret, she really could pick 'em. I can't speak for her later selections.)

8. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (This book is so epic in its scope and message, it feels biblical. I haven't been drawn to the specifity and narrowness of her later subjects, though I hear The Lacuna covered a lot of ground, and it hasn't been booted off my nightstand yet.)

9. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. (A must for writers, definitely. But an all around entertaining read for anyone.)

10. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert (I'm not going to get into it with you. If you didn't like this book, and you and I currently have a good relationship, I suggest you just smile and nod, smile and nod. I love Elizabeth Gilbert and that is that.) 

11. American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld (A fictional memoir of Laura Bush. Genius.)

12. Zeitoun by Dave Eggers (A true story that reads like fiction, about a Muslim handyman in the aftermath of Katrina. Amazing, amazing. I've been trying to get Larry to read this book READ THIS BOOK, LARRY.)

13. Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed (Don't ask questions. Just go buy this book.)

14. Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett (I've read it three times. I never read memoirs three times.) 

15. Open by Andre Agassi (This is a kick-ass memoir as told to J.D. Moehringer, who wrote an amazing memoir of his own called The Tender Bar. I don't typically go for sports tell-alls, but this one goes deep. And when one of the world's greatest tennis players says 'I hate tennis' - you're in for a ride.)

16. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (Hint: When you read this book, it helps to think of time as a map - rather than a line. It's really astounding what she does with time and narrative. And it's a love story that's far more literary than your typical "time travel" romance.)

17. One True Thing by Anna Quindlen (Based on Anna Quindlen's real experience with her mother's death. Several women in my first (short-lived) book club bitched about the way she felt about her mother. BUT SHE'S HER MOTHER! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WAS SO SELFISH ABOUT HAVING TO QUIT WORK AND CARE FOR HER DYING MOM AND ALL OF HER SIBLINGS WHEN SHE WAS TWENTY YEARS OLD. I WOULD HAVE GLADLY ACCEPTED THAT RESPONSIBILITY AS A DELICIOUS HONOR. I can't deal with people sometimes.)

18. To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf (The first book where I was like dude, subtlety rules.)

19. We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver (The most disturbing novel I've ever read. But so brilliantly constructed and page-turny I HAVE to recommend it.)

20. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. (Epistolary novels are AWESOME. This one is particularly so.)

21. Reservation Road by John Burnham Schwartz (This book contains the most haunting, disturbing single scene of any novel I've read - and the way it unfolds from there is just breathtaking. I read it in one sitting. Haven't seen the movie. Don't need to. It plays in my head all the time.)

22. Duane's Depressed by Larry McMurtry (I've read this one at least three times. My favorite favorite McMurtry book.)

23. How to Read Like a Writer by Francine Prose (This will change the way you read books. I hope every English department is assigning this now, becuase it's probably worth an entire degree.)

24. An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken (A memoir of giving birth to a still born child. I really know how to have a good time. Someone take the lampshade off my head! But seriously - this is so beautifully written. If you can stomach the subject matter--and I can understand if you can't--it's written in the most stunning and unsentimental way.) 

25. (I know I'm forgetting something ... so I'll leave this spot open for now. Or better yet, you tell me ... what am I missing?)

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obsessive compulsive not-really-a-decision making disorder

8/2/2013

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Here's a weird thing I've always done and still do that all of you probably don't. And just know that I expect at least one of you--I don't care which one--to lie in the comments and say, oh that? I TOTALLY do that. Everyone does that. Pffft. God.

So.

I'll be eating peanut butter (for example), and I'll think: Man, I really love peanut butter. It's so tasty. Just the right balance of salty and sweet. Terrific texture. 

And then I'll think: Is peanut butter my favorite food? 

And then I'll think: I don't know. Pizza's pretty awesome too. And mint chocolate chip ice cream. And SHARP WHITE CHEDDAR CHEESE. And PF Chang's Kung Pow Shrimp. OH MY GOD I LOVE PF Chang's Kung Pow Shrimp. 

And then I'll think: But I guess I wouldn't say Kung Pow Shrimp is really my *favorite*. So ... which one is my favorite? Like if I HAD to pick? Like if my plane crashed on a desert island and the only two survivors were me and a chef who could only make ONE THING. WHICH THING WOULD I CHOOSE? 

And I will feel my heart start to speed up (like quite a lot) as I try to make up my mind about this not-really-a-decision.

And it's not just with food. I do it with magazines: If I HAD (were FORCED) to wake up tomorrow looking like one of these models, which one would I want to look like? And I'll weigh the pros and cons of being blonde vs. brunette. Curvy vs. Straight. Plush lips vs. extreme cheekbones. IT'S RIDICULOUS.

I do it with catalogs that come in the mail. If someone granted me ONE free outfit from these two pages, which one would I choose? And what about *these* two pages? 

Office Supplies: Should I pick a free lifetime supply of printer paper (that no one is offering me) or a free lifetime supply of extra fine sharpies in assorted colors I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW.

I just don't know. 

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failures of kindness

8/1/2013

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Hello! I'm back.

But not really. Just for a second. Because I wanted to share this thing with you. I read George Saunders' (Saunders's?) latest collection of short stories, Tenth of December, earlier this year, and I just fell in love. With the stories. With George. With his radio interviews that I obsessively listened to on my morning runs. And with the warmth of spirit that just sort of mists off of this adorable (ADORABLE!) man. 

And then today - Cheryl Strayed - another author who I am in embarrassing goobery fan-love with, posted a link to this graduation speech that George Saunders gave at Syracuse University.

As I sent my own boys back to school this morning, I told them: if you can be one thing this year, be kindhearted. Make it your mission to be good to everyone around you, no matter what other people do or say. 

Of course, I'm not always that way. Far from it. I can be a bit of an ass, a lot of the time, actually. And like Saunders, I think the moments when I've failed to be kind (because GOSH it feels so much funnier to be mean) will be the moments I regret the most.

Enjoy. 

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    yours. truly.

    Amanda O'Brien is the author and sole proprietress of Blabbermouse, a blog she launched in February of 2005.

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