The actor Mark Ruffalo was a ghost in my bathroom, and every time I'd go in there to take a polaroid picture of myself in the mirror (which was strangely often), he would be in the foreground of the photo, smiling and waving at the camera. And I thought to myself, "That explains everything! That's why the dog keeps barking at nothing, that's why Gus refuses to brush his teeth, and that's why my children don't sleep in their own beds. There is a ghost in our bathroom."
Oh, and then, because I was very stressed out about the ghost, Larry convinced me to smoke a joint, which turned out to be laced with something and made me hallucinate that the living room rug was rising up from the floor to smother us like a tidal wave. Intense!
So, when I woke up from this dream finished watching this movie, I thought to myself, that was some dream movie! I must be a very deep person. Possibly even deeper than I originally suspected. And thinking Larry would be pretty impressed at what an interesting person he's married to, I gave him the synopsis.
Why Mark Ruffalo? he asked.
I don't know. It's so interesting!
What do you associate him with?
Well, he's the actor who plays the hit and run driver in Reservation Road.
And what word do you think of when you think of that character?
Oh, he's a mess. A complete and total mess.
I see. And he kept showing up when you took pictures of the bathroom?
I hate to tell you this.
You've had another cleaning dream.
Oh my god. You're right.
You probably just need to mop the bathroom.
But wait. What about the marijuana? We don't smoke pot! You have to admit that's pretty interesting.
You mean the joint? The dirty joint that caused you to hallucinate an out of control carpet?
I just do not have a lot going on upstairs, do I?
Maybe you just like to keep your upstairs tidier than most.