Dined with a client prospect who, shortly after making everyone at the table join him in a prayer of thanks, suggested we hire off-duty Hooters girls to help attract more men to his store and then winked at me.
First of all, no.
And second of all, why are you winking at me?
We had Gus's 4th birthday party at PUMP IT UP! Of the twenty-five kids present, not a single one bled, blacked out, or died. (Success!) Also worth noting: the vanilla sheet cake with butter cream frosting from Publix is essentially a Hostess Twinkie for 40 people. Fifteen of whom were me.
A birthday party for Gus's friend. This one at GLOW GALAXY! Which is basically PUMP IT UP! in the dark, with black lights and a miniature golf course. I'll be honest; I'd pretty much hit the legal limit with the inflatables for the weekend, and given the choice would have elected to stay home and mop the bathroom with my tongue. But that was before I discovered that black lights have the power to make even the likes of Bea Arthur look like Malibu Barbie. Next time, I'm wearing nothing but a thong. And socks. (Because they're required).
Saw a new primary care physician and was the youngest person in the waiting room by at least 35 years. Needless to say the whole patient privacy thing kind of goes out the window when all the patients are over 70. I kept overhearing the nurses talking to patients on the phone: "HI MR. CAPLAN, THIS IS DR. PAYNE'S NURSE. NO, DOCTORPAYNE'S NURSE. YES! DO YOU STILL HAVE THE .. No, DOCTOR PAYNE'S NURSE, YES, DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT RINGING IN YOUR EARS? ... I ASKED IF YOU STILL HAVE THE RINGING ... IN YOUR EARS! ... DR. PAYNE SAID THAT LAST WEEK YOU HAD A RINGING IN YOUR EARS ... NO, YOUR EARS ... YES! DO YOU STILL HAVE THE RINGING?"
Obviously the poor guy has something in his ears, if not a ringing. Just don't tell HIPAA you heard it from me.