Pay attention. If you ever want to manage people, you need to know this:
EMPLOYEES ARE NOT MOTIVATED BY MONEY.
You thought they were?
You are so stupid!
They are not. No sir.
I just heard from a very important "management expert" that employees are not, in fact, motivated by money. And I know it must be true, because this guy makes a LOT of money. So, you know, he would know.
What's especially interesting, though, is the myriad of ways employees LOVE to be motivated! So many ways! A myriad of them! None related to money!
And I know this list of motivational tools is really real! And true! Because there is no way that a guy who makes a ton of money would stand up in front of his peers (who also make a ton of money), and LIE. Especially KNOWING that they are paying him a TON of money for this very important information.
So, future managers of employees, here are the REAL ways you can motivate your employees:
1. Praise them for a job well done.
2. Make them feel as if their contribution is important and valuable.
3. FREE movie tickets!
4. Lunch with senior management.
5. Reward them with a plum assignment!
For a second there it sounded like you said, "PLUM assignment."
"Heck, Wally, don't tell the Beave, 'cause I don't wanna brag! But I just landed a PLUM assignment! Let's go down to the malt shop and celebrate!"
And, is anyone else a bit perturbed that what used to be considered "good manners" is now being hailed as The Next Big Idea in employee incentive programs? "Praise them for a job well done!" "Make them feel AS IF their contribution is important and valuable!"
Now, how about you tell me who's been drinking too many vodka tonics?