What have we here?
Gus wanted to name it Jake, which I gently explained to him is a totally bullshit name for a minivan. Jake is the name of the person riding INSIDE the minivan. On his way to soccer practice. Eating a pepperoni Hot Pocket that his allegedly sensible suburban mom picked up in her "grocer's freezer."
We are not naming the minivan Jake.
I personally thought all minivans were women, but then I realized that's sort of sexist of me. A guy can be a minivan, just like a guy can be a nurse. It's not right, but it can happen. I think I just named the minivan Gaylord Focker.
When we first brought Gaylord Focker home, we parked him in the driveway and parked our Matrix out on the street. When Gus woke up Sunday morning, I looked out the window and asked him if he thought the Matrix was jealous of the minivan because the minivan got to sleep in the driveway. About 10 minutes later, I found Gus standing outside studying the front of the Matrix, with his head cocked to one side. He came running back in the house, and confirmed that the Matrix was indeed smiling "like this." (Insert crazy maniacal smile).
For the excitement Gaylord Focker has generated, you'd have thought we bought the boys their own Chuck E. Cheese franchise. No matter that the thing is ten years old and has a cassette deck instead of a CD player; WE HAVE A MINIVAN, EVERYONE! With actual door handles! And a real working radio!
Because you just have to spoil yourself sometimes.