I GOT AN iPHONE! TRA-LAH-la-LAH-LAH YEAH BITCHEZZZZ!
Hot damn, these things make you a bad wife.
--Mrrrr Mrrrr Mrrr Mrrr Mrrr Mrrrr blat blat blat blat blat blat mrrrr shmmeee smrffle smrffle shmeeee? And roooo blat blat blat blat blat blat blat. Can you believe he didn’t mrawp mrawp mrawp mrawp mrawmp mrrrawp blat? AMANDA!?!
--What? Were you saying something? I’m sorry, I …
--Hrmph. Mrrr blat blat blat blat salad blat blat boys blat blat bed.
--Mmm-hmm (tap, tap, tt-tap-tap-tappety) I (tap tap tap) ...
--Blat blat blat NINE O’CLOCK!
--What? OH! GOD! BOYS! WHY AREN’T YOU IN BED YET?!
I can only imagine why they’re not in bed yet. Those silly irresponsible boys. Eyes glued to that junky television set. GOD.
Patrick will say things like “Mommy, can you come in our room and read your iPod in dehr?’
It’s so sad.
But it’s getting better. On Christmas I was wondering how any of you iPhone people can even hold down jobs. What with the E-Mail, and the camera, and the filters, and the Photo Album and The RunKeeper, and the To Do Lists, and the Facebook, and the Tweet Deck, and the SketchPad, and the EverNotes, and the text messaging, and the apps (OH SWEET LORD ON HIGH, THE APPS!), and the GPS, and the iTunes all RIGHT FREAKIN’ THERE in the palm of your hand. My in-laws were here for Christmas, and … at least I think they were here. I did not actually lay my own physical eyes on them as I GOT AN iPHONE(!) and look: it has a FLASHLIGHT! OH MY GOD!
Speaking of the flashlight. Why does everyone get so excited about the flashlight? Because as soon as anyone gets an iPhone they’re all, “THERE’S EVEN AN APP THAT’S A FLASHLIGHT!” But really—unless I’m missing something—it’s just a bright white screen, right? I mean, we’re not searching for missing persons or fending off rapists with this thing, are we?
But, so, I did go back to work yesterday after a full week off. And I did manage to log eight hours of billable time with my iPod sitting quietly by my side. Whether this is a testament to my indestructible work ethic or to the irate client who kicked off my morning with a series of YOUR OFFICE IS CLOSED FOR A WEEK AND OUR WALLET CARDS ARE NOT PRINTED IN THE CRISP MANNER TO WHICH WE ARE ACCUSTOMED voicemails, I do not know.
Was re-entry as painful for you as it was for me?
I had this burning pain in my chest all day, and then this feeling like a dark shadowy figure was creeping behind me, waving a scythe …
Allrightythen. Maybe it’s just me.
I’m kidding about the shadowy figure, actually. I … do you know I just Googled the word Scythe to make sure I was spelling it correctly, and beside the word it says: pronounced /?sa?ð/
So not helpful, Wikipedia.
Don’t you know that people who use Wikepedia are too dumb to understand your fancy etymologilollycalfancymcfancy pronunciation keys? All these years, I thought you pronounced it sigh-th. When all along it was /?sa?ð/.
Oh shoot … I have to run. Larry is saying some words to me right now, and (because I am not writing this on my iPHONE!) I have this huge opportunity to actually process them.
As soon as I check HootSuite.