Anyway, this year we were unable to attend the party because Larry was camping with Patrick’s Cub Scout troop (Cute Overload. Now, with 50% more Archery), and Gus was in Franklin, kicking all kinds of thespian ass as the Narrator in Studio Tenn’s Into the Woods, and I was the only person left with a driver’s license.
Amazeballs, as the kids these days say.)
But did my inability to attend the actual Monster Mashup party stop me from coming up with Monster Mashup costume ideas?
No. It did not.
It did not, and has not, and WILL NOT, and I am pretty sure I have contracted some kind of rare terminal brainstorming disease, because I. Can’t. Stop. And every time someone mentions an historic figure or fictional character or inanimate object, my brain insists (insists!) on trying to mash it up with something else.
Example. Patrick asks if he can watch Peter Pan, and I’m all sure baby, you can watch Peter PanHANDLER! BAM. DID IT AGAIN. FUCKYEAH I AM THE QUEEN OF THIS.
It’s a sickness.
My friend Justine texted me a day before the party, saying she couldn’t come up with any ideas, and I was all HERE, WANT SOME OF MINE? I HAVE EXTRAS WHICH I HAVE RANKED IN ORDER OF DIFFICULTY, LET US BEGIN!
She took Twisted Sister Wife and ran with it (in nude pantyhose and hideous black orthopedic shoes, I can only hope), and I felt momentarily happy and satisfied, but then I was all THERE IS A SAD EMPTY SPACE WHERE THE MASHUP USED TO BE.
MUST. FILL IT.
And the brainstorm started all over again.
Marilyn Monrobot …
Swiss Miss Piggy …
Simon Cowlneck …
(I like that last one. Highly executable.)
And never the (Mark) twain shall meet.