Granted the weather was fairly calm. No wind. No storms. A forecast for sunny skies. The remainder of this week, however, calls for thunderstorms.
The vet prescribed Diazepam for the storm phobia, which we've tried before (and which does not exactly slip Sean into the comatose state I prefer for him, but is better than nothing). When she handed me a bottle of ten pills, with the instructions "Give 2 tablets 20-60 minutes before anticipated storm", I was all, "That gets us through Saturday. What will you be prescribing for him on Sunday?"
Do these people drive home to their California ranches in Malibu Beach every night? Are they unfamiliar with the weather here in Tennessee?
When I pressed the woman behind the counter for more options (I was on my lunch break and didn't have an appointment with the actual vet), she suggested that "Maybe Sean has Alzheimers."
That is just what I need. A dog with Alzheimers who will never die.
COMEDY WRITING GOLD.
"Maybe he's just depressed," I said. "Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. What about a prescription for Prozac?"
She told me she knew of a few dogs who'd been prescribed Prozac, but said that the doctor would need to see Sean before he could prescribe anything like that. Of course. That makes sense. Sean should have the opportunity to take part in his own treatment. Talk things over with the doctor. Share some of his thoughts and feelings and concerns. To tell his side of the story.
JUST GIVE ME THE DOGGY PROZAC.
GIVE IT TO ME NOW.
So I made an appointment with the vet for Saturday (if I don't switch vets before then), and in the meantime I have this helpful flyer about Managing Noise & Storm Phobias.
- If possible, make sure your pet is not alone during the stressful event (CHECK! HE'S RIGHT HERE WITH HIS ASS ON MY FACE!)
- Playing with familiar toys, engaging in games, or practicing obedience may help to distract the pet (AT THREE IN THE MORNING.)
- Try playing music that is loud or has a strong beat (AT THREE IN THE MORNING)
- Try to remain calm yourself. (AT THREE IN THE MORNING WHILE PRACTICING OBEDIENCE AND LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC THAT HAS A STRONG BEAT)
Last night was so delightful that I didn't even mind when Patrick (the only soul in this house who ever sleeps through the night) woke up screaming his head off at three in the morning because he'd wet the bed.
I guess he sensed an opening in the schedule.