Here I goes:
1. I can't STAND the feel of chalk or cotton balls in my hands. Mehh!
2. When I was four, I flew to Nashville to sing a demo of a children's song called "Back in Bible Days" (don't ask*). After we finished recording, I burst into tears because I hiccuped on the word Jesus ANDRUINED THE WHOLE THING. Wah.
3. I have no feeling in the little spot halfway between my neck and left shoulder. So technically you could stab me in the back and I wouldn't even know it.
4. When I was in middle school, my parents hired a homeless woman named Frances off the streets of New York City to be our live-in housekeeper. A few weeks in, Frances renamed herself after my best friend Maggie, so we all called her Maggie. Maggie did not particularly like to clean our house, but she loved to eat baloney and play children's board games. She could eat an entire package of baloney on one bagel with cream cheese and would sometimes accuse my three-year-old brother of cheating at Candy Land, grousing "NO WAY, GORDON. QUEEN FROSTINE WAS MINE."
5. While Maggie and Gordon were playing Candy Land, evidently I kept busy taking pictures of myself being SULTRY:
6. I loathe when people sneeze more than three times in a row. Nothing you say can convince me that the polysneeze is anything less than a pathetic cry for attention. YES YOU CAN HELP IT; YOU JUST AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH.
7. When I'm nervous, I get shooting pains through the centers of my palms. I am fairly certain this makes me holier than thou.
Tag! The following bloggers are It:
Fear and Parenting
Jen on the Edge
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*Editor's note: Back in Bible Days was written by my grandmother, a brilliant Nashville songwriter, among many many other things.