It's not that I"ve been without thoughts lately--it's that most of my thoughts have been of the mean-spirited variety. Just last night, I took Gus to Kroger and when a little girl, about two years old, reached out and grabbed his sleeve, my instinct was to smack her in the face. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?
And then the other night, I watched Marlee Matlin scowl and gag and eye-roll her way through "What the Bleep Do We Know," and I kept thinking, is there some equation in quantum physics that says DEAF=TALENTED? I'm sorry. Did not enjoy her performance. She was very convincing in Baby Wordsworth "Objects Around the House" though. I can now sign the words Table, Swing, and Puzzle like an actual deaf person.
See? See how mean that sounded? Awful. Hateful. Mean Amanda.(And Marlee's name in the movie was AMANDA. SPOO-KEEEEE.)
The other day, a coworker stopped by my office and glanced down at my notebook. I'd doodled a picture of a girl with a big flower on her head, and this coworker said, "Awwwww. You have such pretty thoughts in your head! I wish I had pretty thoughts in my head like that."
And I thought to myself, "God, I hate your sweater."
No, I didn't, I'm just kidding. Wouldn't that be funny, though, if I had?