A few weeks ago, I forwarded one from “a desperate mother who needed my help to find her missing teenage daughter, Carla.” So pretty this Carla! And so sad her mother! Trying anything! Anything at all, to bring sweet Carla home. I sent it to everyone I know. Within an hour, my inbox was flooded with responses shrieking, “THIS IS A HOAX! DUH. IT’S LIKE TEN YEARS OLD! LOOOOK …” And with those responses came many links to websites and supporting documentation proving that I am a gullible ass. (Incidentally, did you know they took the word gullible out of the dictionary? Scandalous!)
Today, I made the mistake of forwarding the recent “Gas Boycott” email, which drew immediate responses from both of my parents, informing me that while such a boycott may sound like a good idea, in reality, it will never work. My father's was a 250 word thesis paper, typed on his Blackberry. By the end of it, I actually believed the boycott was all my idea. My stupid, stupid, stupid idea!” I wanted to reimburse him for the cost of my college education.
And so, I will never forward another email as long as I live.
If your daughter Chelsea Lynne is dying of a rare lymphoma, and you can’t afford the expensive experimental treatments because your husband was (unfairly) laid off at Christmas, and you yourself are confined to a wheelchair (because you were hit by a drunk driver), and it’s up to me to forward this to 25 people, well … it hurts me as much as it hurts you to say … may your little angel rest in peace.