Anyway. Larry wants to get rid of all this stuff. And I told him I’d try to sell it. But I don’t think I can do that.
I have a college degree. I've studied biology. But you can’t tell me I won’t get pregnant by selling our Bumbo Chair on Ebay. Lecture all you want about the sperm and the eggs, but here’s the deal: Larry doesn’t even have to be in the room. As soon as I hawk that Exersaucer, I’m screwed.
That’s how God’s mind works. (Believe me, I know. I was having a girl until I ripped all the tags off her clothes and washed them in Dreft. A week later, Gus was born.) God needs to be entertained at all times. It’s not funny to Him if someone gets pregnant when they already have all the gear. So by hanging onto all this stuff, I keep my uterus off His radar.
Let me be perfectly clear:
The following items are definitely not for sale at a very reasonable price:
• Blue Bumbo Chair
(Barely used. The Incredible Eating Patrick outgrew it in the time it took us to get it home from Target.)
• Exersaucer Deluxe
(Well loved, but in excellent condition. Rubber “E” for Elephant does have some teeth marks.)
• Soothing Baby Swing
(Swings back and forth, or side to side! Not fancy, but will buy you up to 45 minutes of sanity in one sitting.)
• Graco Infant Carrier/Car Seat and Base (Missing detachable sun visor.)
P.S. A variety of boys clothes in various sizes are also not available, if you’d like to see pictures of those.