You should know that they are FLAVOR BLASTED with Xtra cheese.
Also, they smile.
This morning, in an act of sheer desperation, I attempted to hide the carton. From myself.
Every day after I take Gus home from school, I reach for a piece of fruit and somehow end up with my fist submerged in a bowl of these satanic crackers. How exactly this happens is a mystery.
I sit next to Gus on the couch while he does his 20 minutes of reading, and before he's finished the title page, I'm bounding across the living room for a refill. By page five, the bowl is in the sink and I'm wearing the carton like a hockey helmet.
I don't even chew. I just open my mouth and let the Goldfish fall in. Like a whale. Or a vacuum cleaner.
When the carton would not fit in my secret hiding place this morning, I decided to try a softer approach. To leave myself a friendly reminder that I deserve better.
That I am an intelligent woman.
Capable of making healthy choices.