Go, me! And, more importantly, go peanut butter sandwiches, you magical peanutty bastards!
It was this post that put me in the winner's circle, alongside the delightful New Girl and Jen on the Edge who will likely kick my imperfect-parent ass when we go head-to-head in next week's smackdown for Imperfect Blogger of the Month.
BRING IT, BITCHEZ!
I'm kidding. I'm not competitive like that.
You should know that nice (attractive, witty, and, did I mention,generous) readers such as yourselves will get to decide my fate. All you have to do is LOVE ME MORE THAN YOU LOVE THE OTHER GIRLS (and then stuff, stuff, stuff that ballot box!)
Every time I win anything, it reminds me of the pair of roller skates I won in a box of Golden Grahams when I was six. The skates weren’t actually in the box of Golden Grahams. I had to send for them. But when they arrived, they were like a men’s size 12.
Do you know how that feels? Swallowing that kind of disappointment? Even at six, I was loath to admit defeat.
My mom was like, “Awww ...” and I was all, “It’s OKAY! I REALLY LIKE THEM! If I pack my feet in bubble wrap, they sort of even fit! See? And this way, I’ll get to enjoy them for the rest of my life."
So next week, when the voting at Imperfect Parent begins, I want you to vote for the post you like best, even if it’s not mine.
I promise. I won’t be disappointed.